So depressed...and dont want to be

[beeleever]

Less than a month ago, my sister died after a short horrible battle with liver cancer. Some of you were kind enough to share that time in prayer with me.
Now, I find myself depressed and sort of lost. I know typical sorrow behavior.
But I want out of it. I guess I want to be six months down the road in my emotions and not so sad. Just sort of in the not functioning well place in life--just want to sit and stare---I have things to do---sitting and staring doesnt get them done---nor do anxwers come from this behavior. So, maybe, someone who has been here can tell me the next phase---the keep moving phase---I am not there and I have too many people depending on me to become a statue--frozen in depression. How do I jump start out of this?
Thanks. Keeping busy doesnt work--I cant get busy!

[MoreThanConquerors]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

I have spent much of the past year in depression but not really due to anything like a death in the family so not sure if my advice really helps. It was still depression though and it was overwhelming....That constant heaviness with no ability to see a way out.

The biggest thing that I have learned in getting out of that depression is the following. (and I kinda pause at writing this because it can sound so super spiritual that people will balk at it being really practical)...

I had to stop dwelling on my depression and the things that were causing it. It's impossible to make it go away by constantly dwelling on it.

And of course you can't just stop dwelling on it. Not unless you dwell on something else instead.

And that something or rather, someone, else is Jesus.

Despite how you are feeling at the moment you have to use every bit of strength you have and, in faith, look to Jesus and hope in Him. It's the only way out. No staring at the darkness and dwelling on it is gonna help.

You don't go into a dark room and curse the darkness and tell it to leave the room. In order to get rid of the darkness you flip on the light switch. Jesus is the Light. He banishes darkness.

Beeleever...I hope my response doesn't sound trite. I really know what depression is like. I was bitter when someone told me this. "Sure, its easy for you to say"...was my response. Its hard to get past the negative and dark feelings....at first.

I wrote a small thing on Looking to Christ on my blog a couple weeks ago. Its just stuff I have learned in my own personal experience. Maybe it will help you too.

http://the-abiding-life.blogspot.com...n-goliath.html

[MattW]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

My heart goes out to you. It is very normal for you to experience depression after such a loss. I pray that God will carry you through this difficult time. This is a time where you need to walk by faith and not by sight, because your emotions will mislead you if you are not careful. God wants to use the darkest times of our lives to draw us nearer to Him, so I pray that you would lean on Him through this and that He would show you His will through this difficult situation.

Two things I find helpful for depression are mild exercise, such as a 30 minute walk, and medication. I've taken St. John's Wort, which is an over-the-counter herbal supplement - it helps me with mild depression, but doesn't work for everyone. You should speak with your doctor, who will be able to recommend an appropriate treatment. Just remember that depression is a physical ailment, and should be treated as such - it is nothing to be ashamed of.

You should also look for a grief support group in your area. This website might help: http://www.griefshare.org/

Jesus feels your pain. His compassion for you in this dark time is more than you can fathom. He wants to carry you through this, and He provides help along the way in many forms. I encourage you to take steps like I've mentioned here, and accept that God has provided these to help you - you will not regret it!

In Christ,
-Matt

[beeleever]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

Thank you both.
I know this is normal. I know this is something I can get through. I know there is another side. It is just hard to get past the hard death process she went through. Hard to forget it. I know this is all in the hands of God and His will is to be for good---it just doesnt look good right now. Water walking faith isnt easy when you cant move one foot in front of the other.
I appreciate your wisdom and the website--this is going to take time and
prayer and I dont know what else-yet. thank you. thank you.

[Glorify Him]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

Praying for you dear sister. What you are feeling is pretty normal. When I have dealt with this in the past, one of the issues I eventually had to face was my anger with God. That He did not heal my mother or my friend, and they both suffered. Where was He???

As Christians, we are taught that anger with God is a big taboo. I don't know if you are or aren't, but I was. Finally, I figured out that He already knew I was, so I went to him with all those feelings, which were bottling up and keeping in my deepest sense of loss and longing to have them back.

The exercise is important. Watch what you're eating and stay away from over indulging in sugar and carbohydrates right now, they only add to the severity of the mood. The St. John's wort is worth a try too.

Keeping you in prayer.

[beeleever]

YES

I am (I hate to use this word) angry. I prayed, fasted, believed. He answered
His way and I am left to trust. I called on Him with every scripture I knew and just knew she would be o.k.....I didnt want to be angry or confused or stunned. I was. I am. I was so angry when I was younger and my father was killed. I was finished with God and angry with a capitol A for two years. I dont want that again. I want to be o.k. with whatever He wants and does. I am not there yet. I want to be the picture perfect smiling accepting Christian woman---not the curled up confused one. I want to be the comfortable comforted Jesus girl. Instead I feel like I am sitting on the curb a little lost and confused.

[Guest]

Re: YES

I am (I hate to use this word) angry. I prayed, fasted, believed. He answered
His way and I am left to trust. I called on Him with every scripture I knew and just knew she would be o.k.....I didnt want to be angry or confused or stunned. I was. I am. I was so angry when I was younger and my father was killed. I was finished with God and angry with a capitol A for two years. I dont want that again. I want to be o.k. with whatever He wants and does. I am not there yet. I want to be the picture perfect smiling accepting Christian woman---not the curled up confused one. I want to be the comfortable comforted Jesus girl. Instead I feel like I am sitting on the curb a little lost and confused.

Beeleever, He is sitting on that curb with you. Take all your cares and feelings and troubles to Him. He will carry your burden and give you rest.

God Bless you and I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. (((((HUGS)))))

In Christ Jesus,
Dove

[Guest]

Re: YES

I want to be the picture perfect smiling accepting Christian woman---not the curled up confused one.

Sweetie, I honestly don't think this is something that can be acheived in this life. Some may be able to do it with some situations, but everyone has places that just hurt to deeply. This doesn't come until heaven - no more pain, no more sorrow. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the grace and room to grieve. As you know, it's a long process, but with each day that passes you are one step closer to the other side...

Love to you sis...
Tammy

[MattW]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

My heart really goes out to you, and even though I don't know you, I'm sitting here feeling some of the emotional pain you must be experiencing. I pray that God might allow me and other members of this site to share this burden with you. I encourage you to keep sharing your feelings with us, with others, and especially with God.

-Matt

[MoreThanConquerors]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

Will pray this for you...and for Matt W as well..

2Co 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

[beeleever]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

Your words of wisdom are so helpful and I am going to print them and carry them and keep them close by to remind me I am not alone and we are soon going home too. Thank you for helping me stand up and keep moving forward.

[Guest]

Re: So depressed...and dont want to be

Everyone has included such caring and healing Scriptures. There are more and I know Jesus will reveal them to you. I am praying for you beeleever..trusting in Jesus to never leave you nor forsake you..to be with you constantly. You are not alone..Jesus knows exactly what you are experiencing...He will make a way for you..that's a promise we all can cling to.