I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

[fmcginn]

Hi ya'll I don't post here that often yet read and pray allot too I need to tell you all something and it's not good, please don't think of me any different as I still love Jesus.

Some folks here know what I've been going through and I am going to share it here. We are to share our burdens w/ our brothers & sisters so they can help lift us up and The Lord will use you all of you I'm sure to do so I am going to do just that - as the Lord has led me to do so. I am not going to say I am ashamed because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. However I will say I am not proud of myself.

For 3.5 years I've been struggling with alcohol and became an addict. (right after I moved to out in the country NC from CO Big City) That is why I left Wedge/WenT for a while as I felt I wasn't worthy enough & felt hypocritical (this is really hard for me to continue but I am going to finish this fight by my openness)

Ok, Many here has loved me in, IN allot of ways w/ prayer and support, encouragement emails and phone support. (So Thankful) -
....If it weren't for those that has helped me here, I'd have no one because no one knew nor knows until now and all of you do, my husband still doesn't know I'm an addict ( a true one )

I've been doing very very very well in staying close to the Lord as much as possible so I don't think about that old friend whom seeks and destroys. I have my up days for days and I have my down days for a day ( hey if it's 1 day here and there, I've come a long way!)

I need more prayer now than ever as the Lord has been really speaking w/ me and I dunno how to listen sometimes (seems weired maybe) but My mind has been numb for so long and I've become 1 little very small organ under my skin. It's hard to grasp life at what it really means to me in my heart and I want Life I want Jesus and I want a Christian Husband I don't have and can't take my children to church. It's horrible to live like this. But I do and I get thru everyday as Jesus holds my hand at night when no one is there or here or over there or anywhere, I know He hasn't let go of me and isn't finished. (I can't believe I'm doing this btw)

LoL

Ok anyhow, I will say this is my openness I have been told to share, not sure if I can nor will tell my husband, only if the Lord leads me. No One Knows, No one knew, Many wont and allot will say "I can't believe it, not her."

I don't care, I am just doing what I was led to do. The Lord has carried me this far and not for the wrong reasons, all for the right reasons and His Purpose only I do believe.

Please pray for me for Wisdom in the Word, Patience & help w/ anger and definitely this struggle.

Thanks so much, & I love you all!

Felicia

[Guest]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felicia, the Lord will give you the strength to be free of this addiction as you continue to seek His face. It takes a lot of courage to be open about this. Many who struggle with alcoholism don't want to admit they are addicted, and a lot are in complete denial. The enemy likes to have us keep this kind of thing secret because then we are isolated in our experience with no support. Nothing is too difficult for the Lord. He can bring you through as He brought the Israelites through the Red Sea.
Hold on to His hope.
Praying for complete freedom for you from this addictive substance. In Jesus name, Amen!!

[Issachar]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

I will certainly pray for you that you will continue facing this until it is conquered by your being in Christ. I'm hoping this is the beginning of a new day for you. We all sin in different areas and admitting it is more than half the battle.

Issachar

[wendyj]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felcia: I just wrote you a big long reply to this post and it got lost in cyberspace as I was told I was not logged on or something.

I admire your honesty. Humans are all hypocrits that what defines us as humans I think and we all fight with that tendency. I think too as Christians we all have areas of struggle and defeat be it health or sin.

Christ died and set us free but sometimes I get so mad at Him because I dont see deliverance in my areas of bondage. The Word tells us we are victorious in Christ and one day we will be really free from our struggles.

We need to be humble and get the body to pray for us in our struggles- I was defeated in my marriage and after 2 years, divorce was a meeting away. Yet I took this to my church prayer group and we all prayed and victory did come eventually and God revealed Himself to me in a deep way. And many said that my honesty brought a grounding and safeness to the group which made it real.

Daniel had to pray through thick warfare --I know that was precross but the enemy is strong--defeated on the cross but still strong.

Paul struggled with something and I'm not so sure that it was his eyes. It may have been a besetting sin like anger--he wrote : "oh wretched man that I am...."

I will pray for you as I do Issachar and want to encourage you to keep the faith. My walk is often falling down brushing myself off and getting up and walking againi. NONE of us have clean sparkly lives , theres messy stuff everywhere. How great that God does not abandon us and one day we will be changed in an instant and we will see him as He is and be like Him. That's our hope ---until then we wash daily in the Word and lean on our brothers and sisters.

Your posts are encouraging and informative and its sad when someone drops off--dont listen to the bad voices in your head--you are free indeed--God will bring you through and until then you have a blessed hope.

[Guest]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felicia, we are all praying for you and will be here anytime you need us.

God Bless....

PlumBob

[lookingupval]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Oh, Felicia. Do not despair. You are beautifully and wondrously made in the image of Christ.

I've had my struggles with alcohol over the years, but the Lord took away my desire for it (slowly, due to my human will) ... although on occasion I do want to turn to it.

I heard a sermon yesterday morning on the radio ... the pastor said he saw a guy with a cigarette, the guy put it in his pocket to hide it from the pastor. The pastor finally said "go ahead and smoke ... I am not your judge."

I'm so happy that you shared this with us. Now you can have some mighty prayer warriors going through the struggle with you. We are to share each other's burdens.

My heart goes out to you. My prayers will be with you through this trial.

[beeleever]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

I believe in you!
I rejoice in the healing and strength that are yours and will be yours forever!

[Guest]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Praying with you Felicia.
I had a problem with that many years ago.
Thankfully God used another problem I have, to deliver me from alcohol abuse.
Acid Reflux.
I'd drink, then hurt BAD.
So I quickly associated the two, and quit drinking.
I still have reflux, but it's controlled now by medication.
Oh I'm sure 3 cans of snuff each day for 16 years had NOTHING to do with my reflux, along with the alcohol.
You can get through this Felicia, and you have a lot of people praying for you.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
Check.
Now you ask for help.
Check
And along with that, you have many prayer warriors lifting you up to the great physician.

[faith]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felicia, sheesh, what a great leap in faith you just took. BTW, don't think that you're lowly and everyone else holy. That's not true. We're still in human fleshly bodies and can make mistakes. But PTL God can & will get His true born-again children off the wrong paths (out of the muck) and turn them back in the right direction again. He does that for Christians all over the world all the time. So just like any of us needs to do, you need to grab His hand and let Him lead you.

The Bible gives tons of examples of weaknesses, and how we need to give it all to Him and learn to rest in HIS strength, not our own. Our whole lives as believers are a LEARNING process similar to how we grow physically. We have to go thru the stages of growing up from baby stage to toddler to teenage to middle-aged to older-aged, always learning until we're called HOME-SWEET HOME W/OUR LORD FOREVER. And just like physically growing up, we'll make mistakes growing up spiritually, too. But w/the Lord’s help, we’ll also have many spiritual victories as well. As time goes on we learn to live walking more in the Spirit than in the flesh. But, we're not perfect til we’re in heaven w/our new heavenly bodies (as Scripture shows clearly). And Paul talks about the battle of the 2 natures in Christians in Romans 7.

The more we do as God commands - keeping our focus on Him, heaven, and heavenly rewards, then our lives do turn around and it's a constant reminder of His awesome eternal love, grace, & mercy.

God NEVER fails us! PTL! \ / The Bible shows us tons of examples of personal & national sins. And He shows us what to run from as well as shows us HIS unconditional love & forgiveness. PTL for His loving open arms, welcoming us back and showing us how to shake the dust & dirt off, and get back walking again.

Throughout our Christian lives, we need to live w/a precious humbling where we resign our lives to Him and realize it truly is ALL ABOUT HIM. And amen for that! Once we let go of the reigns and start handing Him the controls, life will turn back in the right direction. It's still a life of stages & learning. But HE will bring the victory! His work in our lives as Christians is just plain amazing & miraculous. God is great!!! ping: When you look thru your life and see all HE has done for you, it really is incredible. Now, LOOK AHEAD & KEEP YOUR EYES ON HIM FELICIA. He's waiting for you to walk back w/Him.

Hugs of encouragement to ya. Hang in there. Keep the faith. Some encouraging Scriptures for ya. When Christians make mistakes, it sure helps refocus on what all He's already done for us forever. That gets us back on the right track, living for Him w/our spiritual life growing again. It all helps our love for Him to grow all the more, as we realize how much He first loved us.

Isaiah 43:18 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."

Philippians 3:13b-14 ..But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions,
for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more.”

Hebrews 10:17 Then He adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

Colossians 2:13-14 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations,
that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross.

Job 14:16-17 Surely then You will count my steps but not keep track of my sin. My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin.

1 John 2:12 I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of His name.

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Hebrews 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great High Priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize
with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way,
just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

[Glorify Him]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Thank you for sharing this with us dear sister. I will be lifting you up in prayer. We are more than Conquerors in and through Christ, our Lord.

[fmcginn]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

I thank all of you for your support and prayers as this was a huge decision that really happened before I realized what I totally done. I just let God lead my thoughts and words as I believe I was told to let it out and that would help me get through this easier.

I am reading the responses don't think I've ignored. I have needed a day to swallow all the responses and dwell on them and I am so very thankful for all of you! I love you all so much as You all are such wonderful people in my eyes.

Thank you for your prayers and for being so open about some of the struggles you've been through. I sit here last night (not signed in) and weeped over the replies as God told me, "See, they do care"

I was afraid that I'd get ignored but I put on my positive suit and I didn't let the devil defeat me.

He's been at me Hard Very Hard since I told you all. I'm in a tug of war and the battlefield is full on one side and the other side is Jesus. He will pull me out of this pit most definitely.

Thanks Faith for the Scriptures! I Love them!

gregstien, thank you for being so open and you too lookingupval. Wendy, you are a blessing, I love your advise and encouraging words!!

Issachar & Helen, thank you for your long time prayers and support. You've helped me do this along w/ Brenda, Andy and Many many others, can't remember all the names.

The rest of you, I thank you for the acknowledgment of my struggle and the prayers you pray and the hope you've implanted

Many Hugs go out right now to all of you one by one,

YSIC

Felicia

[Glorify Him]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Here's a big hug { } coming right back at you. I have no doubt that God is preparing you for something big. This is a trial that He will have to carry you through. Fear Not! He will shelter you under His wings and lift you up, He will send His Holy Comforter in abundance. Rest in Him. The Battle is His and it is already won!

[Guest]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felicia,

You are beautifully and wonderfully made.
I so admire your inspirational courage and pray that the Lord will continue to lift you out of the shame and despair and continue to lift you close to Him.

As someone who grew up with an alcoholic mother, I'm so proud of you.
Life would have been so different had my mother reached out for prayer and help.

Much love to you...

In His care,
Tammy

[wendyj]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

Felicia: we are all broken pots. Jesus came to give us hope--remember its not by might or power but by God's spirit we lead our lives. Its not by works so just stay in the Word as much as possible, and confess your sins as you fall then get up and keep going. God's Spirit will work in His time and that is something I dont understand.

I am fighting some spiritual battles right now: depression being one of them --its premenopause insanity with the panicky feelings and restlessness etc---so I speak from what I know ---its only the Word that keeps me sane some days. Last night for instance I could physically feel anxiety and felt so aweful not being able to turn off so I prayed Eph 6 the armour telling myself I was armed for battle and thinking "how corny is this"---I felt peace after I was done .

WE need to be filled with the spirit to fight the flesh but we get out of the word --just because we are broken pots. Jesus will take us home one day and the struggle will be over don't give up the hope and fight the fight---WE win!

I am praying for you.

[Guest]

Re: I'm letting go & letting Jesus take over & He will as I type

You are quite welcome Felicia.
You have many friends here that care for you and are praying for you during this time.
Wendy, you are a broken pot?
Oh that I attain that level one day.
I'm still a cracked one, or so I've been told.