Our Testimonies

[Allthingsnew]

The Greatest Night of my Life

I was saved when I was a young boy and tried to live the life some in my teenage years, but fell away.

Then when I was approximately 24 years old, my wife (who was raised Catholic) and I had been married about 4 years started have some trouble. We liked to party and smoke pot, then I started smoking it a little heavier. And she started having an affair. I was completely broken when I found out, even though it was as much of my fault as hers. She left and stayed with some friends for awhile and I was alone at home having a VERY hard time. And after a few weeks I was at the end of my rope. I loved this woman so much that I didn't know what to do. Then one evening I was home alone, (by this time I had lost about 30lbs). I was so tore up that I was in the middle of the living room floor crying like a baby. With the thoughts of suicide going through my mind. I got on my knees crying uncontrollably, and cried out to God, "God please help me."

Well I don't know if any of you will believe this but I promise you it happened. After crying out those four words, something hit me like a bolt of lightning and the next second I was laughing and had such a joy that for a second I didn't know what happened, and then I knew. My lord had saved me from my despair and had given me an unspeakable joy.

Well the next time I saw her I asked her to come back home, that we could work it out. But she would just say "no I'm not ready". Then in about another week I saw her again and asked her again and I still got the same reply. Now I don't know if God gave me the words to say or not, but I told her, "then come get your things and get out", because thats what it took for her to come back.

And when she came back I told her we were going to start going to church and start living right. We did and she got saved.

We now have been married for 24 years come 5/15/06 and I honestly cannot count on one hand, times we have argued.

We have a boy 18 and a girl 14, really great kids.

[ God allowed me to get to the lowest point in my life, because He knew thats what it would take for me to call on Him. And now He has made ALL THINGS NEW]

Now I struggle with sin and temptation just as everyone else does. But thank God He is Faithful to forgives us when we call on Him.

To God be ALL the Glory. Amen
Jeff

[Glorify Him]

Re: Our Testimonies

Thanks for sharing your story. God is just awesome! "Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.!"

[Kookey]

Re: Our Testimonies

Thank you for sharing

[Kookey]

Re: Our Testimonies

I guess I will try mine.
I don't know how to condense it though.

I was raised an only child and God was my best friend.
I talked to Him and sang to Him all the time.
There was a closeness I can't explain, and have never felt again.

In jr. high and highschool I started to change and go downhill.
It started with smoking, then drinking then smoking pot.
Then losing my virginity when I wasn't ready at the age of 15 to a married man.
I wasn't myself anymore.
I hated myself.
So I drank more, smoked more, started using heavy drugs, had more sex, to numb everything I hated inside me.
Those empty holes I created when I turned my back on God, and could only be filled with Him, I was filling with dirty stuff.
I got really really bad in 10th grade.
My mom couldn't control me.
I was hanging around this girl who was older and an athiest.
And I remember the day we were riding in the car and she popped in this rap tape.
And it was the most horrid thing I had ever heard in my life.
It was straight up satanic rap.
The first time I heard it, my stomach felt icky, and I felt like I was going to puke.
Then she started playing everytime we would drive around and het high, everytime I heard it my tummy hurt a little less, and before I knew it I was singing along with it.
It was nasty nasty music.
I have the words blocked in my head now, God healed me. So as I recall this, I have it blocked so I don't remember the exact words.
If I tried I could recall, but I don't want to.
I not only turned my back on God, I denyed He even exsisted.
That pains me to remember.
After a year of so of the worst.
I was raped twice, which fueled my hatred to myself.
Finally one of the girls(She's now my SIL) I was doing drugs with, mentioned church.
My ears perked up, and come to find out she used to go to church before we all started partying together.
So we decided to start going together, and in the process I got away from the music.
I remember laying on my bed crying out to God.
I was 17.
I wish I could say I started living right, but I had too many wounds that I never let heal, and then met this guy, and thought I was all in love.
And all he did was emotionally abuse me.
I stayed in it for 3 years.
Sometime during the course I got strong and got rid of him, and started dating my best friend's brother.
A year later I was pregnant.
During that year I was starting to read my Bible, and get close to God.
And it felt really good.
But after my daughter was born, I started my drinking again.
I couldn't stop.
And my husband couldn't stop smoking pot.
My drinking was ruining our marriage.
I was a mean horrible person.
Then a little over two years ago, something changed in both us, at the same time.
We knew we had a choice to make, we couldn't have both.
And together we changed, and finally started living our lives for God, and not ourselves.
The addictions fell off.
I still had wounds from my past I never dealt with, and I prayed really hard, and got re-baptized, and felt free. For the first time I felt free.
And almost like I did when I was a little girl.
God is so amazing.
Through it all He never left me.
Through it all He was there once I turned back to Him, waiting for me. And still loving me.
My husband is going to be ordained next month.

There is so much more, but I was trying to make it short.

[Andy]

Re: Our Testimonies

WOW, this is powerful!

One thing that's already jumping out at me - we are FAR from perfect! Satan still attacks and sometimes he gets us to slip up and make mistakes (SIN). BUT where sin abounded, grace did all the MORE abound (Rom 5:20)! No, that's not license to sin - but when we do sin we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous (1 John 2:1).

One of the most powerful indicators, to me, that someone is a true believer is when they admit that they struggle with sin. An unbeliever has no struggle!

---

Here's a snapshot of mine:

Born/raised Detroit, Mich to two dear, loving parents (now been married 54 years) that love God. Raised with a rich, Christian heritage, I was saved at a young age...but was filled with the "Thou shalt nots" and not a whole lot of "WHY?!" Introduced to pornography by an unsaved brother-in-law at age 12 and never looked back for the next 20+ years. Despite knowing porn was bad and praying for release NUMEROUS times over the years it had a stranglehold on me. This continued to my 30's - the whole porn testamony is another story of God's infinite grace and power as He did eventually shatter that stranglehold over me (PRAISE GOD).

In my teens I continued off the deep end, BIG time. Drugs (far worse than "just" smoking pot), alcohol (limited) and at my worst I became involved in a street-gang as second-in-command. God protected me in ways that are God-sized through those months (wasn't in that very long and never got into any real trouble).

I got "scared straight" at 17 when I was confronted by my Christian Principal at the Baptist school I attended. Dropped the gang, drugs, etc - but still never really straighted out my life on the spiritual level.

As a porn addict I saw women as a means to an end and "fell in love" (translate that to "lust") at 18, married at 20...way too young and completely unprepared for such a commitment. As is ALWAYS the case with porn addicts of course this wife was incapable of fulfilling my endless thirst for more. In the end I committed adultery and the marriage ended with me walking into the arms of another.

Shortly after that marriage God began to work in me and although He had not broken the addiction yet things were improving. I had a wonderful 2 yr old boy and then we had our little girl. Three months later their mom took them both and moved 1200 miles from me, "If you ever want to see them again, you'll move too".

That marriage ended and I spent about 3.5 years single - THIS is when God finally broke the addiction. Logically speaking one might think that during singlehood is the least likely time for that - well, that's one huge testament to His power.

AFTER the break from the addiction He knew I was ready for the most wonderful, godly, faithful, precious woman He had ever created. We'll be celebrating our 9th anniversary in a little over a month. We're very involved with ministries to stepfamilies, couples/marriages and of course I'm just slightly involved in a couple of Internet ministries, too.


Thank You, dear Father, for Your grace. Thank You for Your endless love. Thank You for pouring out that love for me in SO many ways. I have all I could ask for in You yet You give me SO much more beyond! Praise to Your Name and praise to the Name of Jesus. I praise You for His blood shed for ME...unworthy, unlovable, failing, fumbling, faltering human I am - You love me ANYWAY.
Thank you, dear Father, God!

[MoreThanConquerors]

Re: Our Testimonies

This is just plain awesome. I love this. There is nothing more powerful than hearing the story of a transformed life.

WOW, this is powerful!

One thing that's already jumping out at me - we are FAR from perfect! Satan still attacks and sometimes he gets us to slip up and make mistakes (SIN). BUT where sin abounded, grace did all the MORE abound (Rom 5:20)! No, that's not license to sin - but when we do sin we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous (1 John 2:1).

One of the most powerful indicators, to me, that someone is a true believer is when they admit that they struggle with sin. An unbeliever has no struggle!

Maybe we should start another thread. I would love to discuss this some more. Totally agree with you. I am studying Romans now, which deals extensively with the struggle between the Outer Man and the Inner Man. Its so beautiful.

[Guest]

Re: Our Testimonies

I wrote an article titled 'MY JOURNEY TO JESUS' which is my testimony. Other articles of mine including this one are published on FaithWriters web site. I just praise God for His amazing grace!

The direct link to 'MY JOURNEY TO JESUS' as follows:

http://faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=41225

[Guest]

Re: Our Testimonies

I just love reading about Jesus and how He can change lives! I'm one of those lives

My mother and father were older when I was born 40 and 44. My sister was born 18 months later. When I was 6 my father died in a tractor accident. I never really knew what it was like to have a father. I have very few memories of him.

In high school, I never got into trouble..never even drank. But once I graduated that's when the drinking and smoking pot started. One of the most stupidest things I remember doing was when I moved to the Chicago area and worked in a dentist office. The dentist's daughter, who was in high school, would come over and we'd smoke pot in the office!

Later I got a job in Chicago and the bus driver that drove me from my apartment to the train noticed me We started dating..then something came up and he realized I wasn't a Christian. He was so shocked he walked out. I sat there rather perplexed. I had attended church when I was growing up..but no one ever mentioned anything to me about how to be a Christian..or how important God is..and Jesus.

That night I laid in bed and actually talked to God. I said I didn't know anything...but I believe in Him and Jesus. As I laid there with my eyes closed I knew something passed over my eyes..it was a shadow..I wasn't scared, I was just comforted by it.

Immediately I stopped swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain. Eventually, several years later, it got to the point that when I smoked pot it felt like my soul was being pulled out of me. The Lord delivered me from that! Yeah! 1 or 2 years later on I stopped drinking. I clearly remember the last time I was drunk..and I cringe thinking about it.

I'm so thankful that both my husband I were Saved and baptised before we were married. Mike had never been baptised..so we went together!

My Salvation experience was a bit different...I learned more as I walked with the Lord. I accepted Him first without really knowing why I needed Him...but it didn't take long before it was VERY apparant..I knew! God blessed me with great teachings so I caught up to speed very quickly I am a sinner saved by Grace...Jesus death on the cross..His blood shed for my sins..and His resurrection..death defeated! No greater gift is there than that!

Accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior is the best decision I have ever made...I have had not one regret..not one..ever! He changed me from the inside out. Now I have peace..I'm forgiven...I have direction in my life..I know who I am and where I am going. I have purpose and joy! And I am loved loved loved! Thank You Father, Son and Holy Spirit AMEN! \o/

[Allthingsnew]

Re: Our Testimonies

God is Good!!!!

[MoreThanConquerors]

Re: Our Testimonies

Here is mine. I had to retype it for my mission trip to East Asia in a couple weeks. Figured as long as I shortened it and retyped it I would post it here. Most of you have already read it...but here you go!

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On June 7th, 1997 I married a wonderful Christian woman. A week after getting married I started a good job at a Fortune 500 company and started to make good money. In 1999 my first daughter was born. She was so beautiful and brought such joy to our lives. In 2001 We bought our first home and my life was secure. In 2003, we had our second daughter, another blessing in my life and a constant source of laughter for us. In 2005 my wife became pregnant with our third daughter, I had been promoted at work and life was running smooth. You would think with all the blessings in my life…a sweet wife, two wonderful daughters and one on the way and a good job, that I would have been the happiest person in the world, truly thankful for my life.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. On the surface I kept a smile on my face but inside I was completely miserable.

Since I was a teenager I was habitually addicted to pornography. I would go through periods of time where it wasn't an issue but those times were few and far between. When I got married that addiction did not go away. If anything, thanks to the rise of the internet, it got much much worse. Over time it turned me into a completely vile person, full of bitterness, anger and cruelty. Though my wife wasn't aware of the pornography issue she was more than aware of the person I had become. See, my wife was a Christian and because of my sin and my lifestyle, I resented my wife. Not because she ever condemned me or for any other reason. I resented her because she was a constant reminder of what I wasn't. I resented her because she was a Christian. That was the only reason. She felt the fury of my resentment constantly. I took my frustration out on her constantly. I never abused her physically but I would verbally. I would discover one of her insecurities and I would just belittle her until she cried. It’s a miracle we never divorced.

I did the same thing with my friends, who were also all Christians. I belittled them and mocked them as much as I could, taking delight in their pain and discomfort. I also took delight in making them sin, applauding their behavior and then mocking them when they did. I was a wretched and evil person. I had come to hate all those I first loved and then after awhile I had come to hate myself so much that I soon contemplated suicide. I thought it would be just so easy to end it all by driving my car into oncoming traffic.

Finally, after a particular time of verbally abusing a friend, I came to the end of myself. I was so sick of myself and I knew that I was going to die if something didn't happen…and not only would I die I knew I would go to hell. Problem was at this point I didn't believe there was a soul in the world who could save me or who could possibly love me.

Then one morning I opened up a Bible and started to read. I prayed for the first time in years. I confessed all of my sins to God and asked him if it was too late for me. I truly believed that my sin was unpardonable and that I was doomed. Praise the Lord that His Grace is greater than my sin! The Lord revealed to me that day in His word (Deut 6:25-31) that though I had done evil in His sight that if I sought Him that He would have mercy on me. I confessed my sins and repented. I cried out for mercy and He heard me and He saved me. I was so overwhelmed but a part of me was still unbelieving. I prayed again asking the Lord if He loved me…and again, in His word in Psalm 118, He told me "My love endures forever". Its repeated 5 times in that chapter and another 16 times in Psalm 136. At that moment I felt His love just flood into me and it left me totally broken. From that moment on I was a completely changed person.

That same day I confessed everything to my wife. I confessed the pornography addiction and I begged her forgiveness for the way I treated her. My wife was floored and she saw immediately the change in me. She could immediately see the gentleness and love that poured out of me. She did forgive me. I then confessed everything to my church and to my friends and asked their forgiveness as well.

I have been saved since December 5th, 2005. My life is brand new. I have started completely over. My wife and I even renewed our vows to each other last year. I freely I admit I still struggle with some things, but I have a new hope now in Jesus Christ, who is constantly showing me His love for me and is constantly changing me into His image. I am constantly in awe at His grace and mercy and love for me. He is my life and I love Him because He first loved me.

[Allthingsnew]

Re: Our Testimonies

Wow, Praise the Lord!!!!! God is good!!!!!

[Ready4Jesus]

Re: Our Testimonies

Recently, I have regret that I did not share the gospel with a person who was recently murdered, he was from Pakistan and now I find that he was a Muslim. I lightly broached the subject with him, telling how my last years troubles brought me closer with God, but I felt pressed (by the spirit) to say more and I did not.

Now I find myself in the same shoes regarding my testimony. I have had three different situations that have pushed me to do this, the last in my bible reading this morning where the study notes said if God calls you to something, don't wait. Do it. It is particularly difficult for me because I also need to send my testimony to my church....and they know me by more than just a name.

I am well acquainted with evil. I was given away at 6 months for adoption to my birth mothers uncle and wife. I lived with a man who drank so heavily, he made the movie "the burning bed" a reality in my home. I have seen my mother beaten to a bloody pulp, I have tried to intervene and have been thrown up against a wall, I have seen my brother beaten so severely and his bike run over for riding his bike to an ice cream shop.

At the age of five, I was violently raped by my father. I didn't know what happened, and when my mother came home from work, I was crying. I showed her where I was hurt. She went ballistic and confronted my father. She was beaten and then I was the next target. I was chased by my father, as I tried to escape. When he caught me, he strangled me to the point where an ambulance needed to be called. I was told to keep my mouth shut, so they came in and treated me for an asthma attack.

My mother became an alcoholic and would become hateful to me. I loved her very much so her abrupt callousness left me to be a very sad little girl who didn't think anyone in the world loved her. I therefore put my love into my best friend and her family became my replacement.

At the age of ten, my mother walked in on my fathers abuse and I thought in order to protect me, I was then sent to my grandmothers to stay the night for the rest of my childhood. For the first few weeks, I was hid in the heat of summer in an attic, and I would just cry. I thought my father would come to kill me. It was agony. After a couple, maybe a few weeks, my mother came to see me. She was drunk...abusive, and what I thought would be a wonderful reunion was marked by accusations that I was at fault. And how could I do this to her. My hope of finally receiving love again from my mother disappeared that day.

I had to pretend to be normal, as I was brought home every morning so the neighbors would believe I was living at home. As the memories of my life were beyond my ability to cope....I remember consciously pushing the bad memories away and dwelled on my escape from home in the future.

I started to excel in school...for at least I got praise for good grades from my teachers. I went out for cheerleading, became a competitive swimmer and I practice so hard because I wanted to win anything that I could.

I eventually learned to depend on myself. Little did I know, that my attempts to find some type of acceptance would spark jealousy in my best friend. She became cruel in high school, and her rejection was the final straw for me. I made some mistakes and would no longer be able to be on the cheerleading squad. I walked around almost like a zombie, because I figured I was a terrible person and unworthy of love.

At the age of seventeen, I finally found a person my father would let me date and I became pregnant. I decided the way out of my house was to marry him and move into his house, because his mother turned out to be one of the kindest people who really liked me. He didn't deserve to be married to me, as I had no intention of a life long commitment. He was just a means to an end.

After two children, took a new job that required relocation, divorced him, and finally got away from my past...or so I thought. I had become an accomplished professional recruiter and had achieved a great deal of success. Wordly success became my goal...and I was consistently a number one employee.

I remarried. One day, as my troubles never went away, and I still felt that I was lower than anyone, and my career success never seemed to satisfy. I thought just to achieve success would put me on the level of everyone else, because I knew deep down I was a good for nothing nobody who never could do anything right.

At the age of 26, I met God. And he sent me a dream... I was in a Catholic church (where I went until about the age of 8) I was flying around in the air in the church. There were people chanting that they rebuked satan in the name of Jesus Christ. This happened three times and then I needed to throw up and ran out of the church to find a place to do so. After I was purged, a priest walked up to me, and took out a plain silver cross out of his pocket. He put in on my heart and said, "this is a gift from Jesus Christ, Himself."

I was overjoyed, as I finally found God. Someone who loved me. Really loved me. Then the hard part happened through my walk with the Lord. The Lord has had to refine me. The first thing he did was show me how judgemental I had become. I couldn't understand how someone could sin and be born again. I decided that if they did, they did not know God. However, a few years later I chose to do some shameful things, and I learned a hard lesson. See even though evil was done to me....I also had to learn of my own wickedness. I had to see the junk deep inside of me....and I had to own it, and repent of it.

The latest lesson I have just been through is my pride and my dependance on myself. As I had a stellar career, and made a very good income, I really had no dependence of God for any of that. Last year, I failed at a new business, my other business starting falling apart, and I have used up most of my life savings. But my relationship with God got stronger, my faith in him increased dramatically, and I now would choose to be poor with God and the personal relationship that I now have, then the money I used to earn.

I have learned that when Jesus said that ask, and you will receive. He is talking about spiritual gifts, not worldly gifts. I now ask for faith. And he has given me an abundance.

My feelings of inadequacy have never completly gone away...I sometimes will question how God could ever love me. However, because of his gift of faith, I now trust his word more than my feelings. I don't know that I will ever "feel" the love of God in its entirety, but I know that I can count on it for eternity.

[Allthingsnew]

Re: Our Testimonies

Bless your heart. You've had a rough time. But through it all God is Gracious, Faithful and closer that a brother. You've come such a long way, hang in there and keep your eyes on Him. He will never fail you.

Thank you for opening your heart to us.

God Bless you sister,
Jeff

[Ready4Jesus]

Re: Our Testimonies

Bless your heart. You've had a rough time. But through it all God is Gracious, Faithful and closer that a brother. You've come such a long way, hang in there and keep your eyes on Him. He will never fail you.

Thank you for opening your heart to us.

God Bless you sister,
Jeff

Thank you. God is my strong tower. And I pray that someone who reads my testimony will see that even in the worst situations, God loves them and will deliver them. I have now been blessed with a new contract that is quite good, and will restore my financial situation. God has restored my soul. He is an awesome God, mighty in power and grace.

[MoreThanConquerors]

Re: Our Testimonies

that was a wonderful testimony!

How great and deep and wide is the love of our Lord!!